im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.