Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
babies were throwing up all over the place
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
