sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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