Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air

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  (952): You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air http://tfl.nu/002i
  Replies (6) Good night (1288) Bad night (3933)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.

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  (716): she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless. http://tfl.nu/eill
  Replies (29) Good night (6471) Bad night (1160)
• Favorite

  (+49): View more from Germany

  Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face

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  (+49): Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face http://tfl.nu/4iya
  Replies (26) Good night (11714) Bad night (2008)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

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  (862): just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work http://tfl.nu/zbvu
  Replies (3) Good night (2399) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.

  (352): View more from Florida

  And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.

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  (352): Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye. (352): And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave. http://tfl.nu/f5gq
  Replies (8) Good night (5043) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...

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  (414): Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes... http://tfl.nu/m3ok
  Replies (11) Good night (742) Bad night (4583)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.

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  (617): She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her. http://tfl.nu/sdzd
  Replies (13) Good night (5667) Bad night (1430)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves

  (806): View more from Texas

  That's not technology. Doesn't count.

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  (702): The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves (806): That's not technology. Doesn't count. http://tfl.nu/x0wz
  Replies (3) Good night (1637) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.

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  (541): I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar. http://tfl.nu/9erd
  Replies (4) Good night (2024) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.

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  (908): She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible. http://tfl.nu/itsw
  Replies (7) Good night (566) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.

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  (520): Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots. http://tfl.nu/9hrm
  Replies (6) Good night (2111) Bad night (954)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.

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  (405): I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities. http://tfl.nu/i4vg
  Replies (7) Good night (668) Bad night (549)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven

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  (215): Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven http://tfl.nu/y2y3
  Replies (3) Good night (805) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning

  (1-832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Damnit.

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  (832): If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning (1-832): Damnit. http://tfl.nu/shac
  Replies (2) Good night (464) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Gross! What the hell is that?!?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.

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  (404): Gross! What the hell is that?!? (623): It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon. http://tfl.nu/hr7g
  Replies (7) Good night (839) Bad night (300)

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