in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂