i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
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This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.