Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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