did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
