I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
