Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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