He uses pillows to masturbate.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize