i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
