I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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