i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
