And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
