Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
