The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
