exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
