he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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