She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
