420 ftw
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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