You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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