I'm lost and stupid without you.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
