It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
