oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If I die, sorry about rent.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
