So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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