there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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