I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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