her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
