Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
