i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
