are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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