Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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