Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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