think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
