My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
