this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
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I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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