we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
