Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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