Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
