So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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