you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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