six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
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