I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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