why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
