I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
