that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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