Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
