physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
