Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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