tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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