just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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