im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
