Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
