Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
