I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
