I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
